How do they lift these things?
by hopelessromantic34
Summary: I have no clue what i'm doing but I am certain of 5 things I'm in monster hunter world These weapons are RIDICULOUSLY HEAVY! These handlers are flirting with me Monsters are real and they want to eat me and I:m still hungry no matter how much I eat.
1. Chapter 1

_**FUCK, my head..**_

I growled as i slowly regained concusness. As I slowly rose my throbing head, i slowly took in my surrondings. I was siting in a warmly lit room. As I turned to look around, details started to came into focus. Everyone wore strange armor of differant sizes and shapes that seemd to defy comfort. The scent of roasting meat and stewed vegables infused the air, but as I tuned to faollow the smell feeling that I may be getting the hang of my surroundings, I noticed somthing that was off about how the platters moved.

The food that i saw moving around was being carried my cats... cats wearing cloths and walking on two legs. The sight made me put my head back down. Slowly I mentally went througth what I was seeing and what it could mean.

_**warmly lit room, peaple in armor , food being carried my cats... Pease let me be wrong..**_

Taking a deep breath, I rose my hand, falgging one of the cat servers over to my empty table. As he approched , I got a better look at his outfit. seeing that that he wore a white shirt with a blue scarf around his neck but no pants. As he got up to me , he smiled showing his feline teeth

" yes, hunter. what can i get you."

As he spoke , I noted that his words came out as a bunch of meows and purrs , yet I understod them as if they were simply speaking a deeply accentd english. Shaking my head i responded.

" a meat platter with extra potatos and info. how far are we from Astara."

nodding his head , He ran off to get my food. Now that my head was more focused , i realized that I was not in my own cloths instead i was Armord in a set of chainmail armor , minus the helm. Moveing my arms to test if had any range of motion , i heard a load yell can from across the room. turning my head, I saw a table with a boy and girl talking to an other girl with dark purple hair. she had pale skin with bright green eyes that seemed to glow.

_**" well, then i guess i have just seen the main hunter then.**_

I watched them for a few moments but when the girl jumped up and headed towards the stairs upto the main deck, I was certain of who she was. Hearing a meow behind me , I turned to my food. he sat it on the table and turned to me.

" we should be nearing land anytime now."

With a wave of my hand , I dismissed him. Looking my food i gave it a look over. 3 large turky legs, a bowl of what looked like tomato soap, a whole loaf of bead and a 2 large mugs of ale.

_**" damn, this looks good. well at least the food seems right. **_

Grabing a leg , I bite into it leting the roast taste go down my throat . It tasted even better then it looked... and it looked good to begain with. But as i reached to take a swallow of my ale, the whole room jerked like it had hit something .

_**" shit, seems we just hit the dragon. man and i haven't even got a chance to finish my meat... Oh well."**_

jumping to my feet, I knew what was coming. I ran to the stairs and grabbed them. I was so not letting myself be one of those injured when the hero arrives.

just as i did so, the room tilted and food spilled everywhere. I hung on, grabing a girl that got thrown by the jerk. I held on for 30 mineates looking as the others laying in a pile agenst the wall.

_**" fuck.. so I'm really in monster hunter . This makes no sense... wait, no don't think about home. You are here now. You must deal with that first. family later, likly once you have a weapon ."**_

no sooner , had I got my mind togather, the room tilted again, righting itself. As the other hunters slowly got to their feet, i was already standing and headed up leaveing the girl where we landed. I burst througth the door onto the deck. looking around, i saw a flying bird with two peaple hanging on, headed towards the forest. turning to the raising sun, i just made out he first bits of what had to be Astara. I knew if i turned around, i would see Zora but I knew i would not be able to deal with that know.

_**" well, that tears it. i'm in monster hunters world . well, at least i'm not the main charactar. but why was i sent here... Fuck this, I need a drink if I'm going to deal with this shit. "**_

My mission set, I turned back to the doors, heading back to the food area. I would find somthing to eat even if I had to cook it myself.


	2. Chapter 2

The remainder of the ride to the dock preceaded relatively peacefully... well as peaceful as you get can expect a ship full of achademics and trained killers that just got a sample of the monsters they were expected to fight. Most of the hunters stayed in the hold execpt for a few brave souls that joined me on the deck to help guide us into port.

The sound of the ship docking faded into the background as I slowly disembarked and stepped into Astara. I belived myself was ready for this, but the realazation that this is really happening just can't be understated. I walked around just trying to get my bearings. The smell of cooking meat could be picked faintly over the smell of wet wood .

As I walked taking in the sights, I made the mistake of forgetting my surroundings ,until I walked into a table. looking down, I saw it was coverd in mapes of the area, but I Noticed that only the forest and a small part of the wastes were documented. looking closer, I noted that only one camp was marked for them both, but before I could think on that i was brought out of my thoughts by a harsh clearing of a throat.

" Is there something you needed hunter ?"

Tensing , I slowly rose my head , looking right into the eyes of the Commander. In the game the guy sounded old and rougth but that had nothing on the man before me. His Skin was burned from all the time in the sun and held many small scars. His hair was supposed to be white but to see it infrount of me , it looked more silvery and cut in a almost milatry buzzcut. But the most supriseing thing was that he was not all that tall. He was equal to me only beacuse i was still techniclly bent over the table. All of this ran througth my mind in the second it took me to stutter a response.

" umm, ye.. yes sir. I'm just wondering a few thing that was not explained before we set off. "

His eye brow rose , in what i could only guess was mild interest. with a tilt of his head , he motioned for me to explain.

"Sir. I know that we have all the basics but well. to put it simply , they neaver explained the more ... interesting things. such as if Astra has any...adult.. entertanment places. or where we keep the children that no doubt are being born here. plus what we are supposed to do about pregneat or sick hunters. You can get were I'm going here."

As I explained, i swear he was fighting a battle to not smile at me. Before I could go on, he raised his hand , stopping me. he turned and opened a draw under the table. pulling out a small note book , he handed it to me.

" You know, not many hunters have to gall to say it so plainly. Most try to bet around the bush more , likely embaressed, So here. in this little book is all the answers you seek. Memerize it and return it to me by noon tomarrow , understood? "

Nodding my head, I slipped it into my armor and turned to leave when yelled one last thing,.

" But first hunter, hurry up and get armed. once we finish gathering the stragglers, we well be having our meeting and then hunting assignments begain.

It was that last part that got me. Needed a weapon to hunt...that means it's about to start. i have to Fight ... I have to kill...n

"No... NO don't think like that. This is not your world . these are actual monsters. and you are now a hunter. this is what is needed... plus look at it this way. The higher your rank. The more attractive you look."

Looking around I see handlers , hunters and others working to set up. My eyes drift over to the front were i see that annoying hunter from the ship, The one that greets the player and acts like they are on the same leval but never actually seems to hunt. Talking to him is his handler. She was pretty in the game but now she looks even better, and not just her. Every female i see looks good in an almost savage and exotic way.

" yes, thats right. the best hunters get the best mates or even the most. After all, humanity is always fighting the monsters, so whose to say polygamy is not accepted or even incouraged."

Smiling at that happy thought , I head towards the canteen. Hopefully, i may bearable to find my palaco .

I took the first table in the canteen I saw, which happend to be right near the bridge that leads away from the camp. on the walk up the steps, I had discoverd that my armor had many compartments in it. in one I found a small bag of coins , which I figered had to be Zinny, the current form of currency . I went up to the chef and after spent 3 minates saying i needed to make more gains, he took my order. Back at the table I looked at every palaco to arrived but mine still hadn't appered here.

" Damn, well i guess it just could not have been that easy, i'm not he main person so , of course mine would not be waiting for me. oh, well. lets just finish my food then head to the barracks to grab a weapon. "

The barracks were not that hard to find, just go into the door on the ship of the ship. inside i saw few hunters laying on bunks or hammocks. While they all had on mixed armor that could not be confortable they slept well and the my suprise a few of them had their palacos sleeping on top of them. The site was honestly adorable .

"I wonder if I'll that close to mine... if i even have one."

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I dug througth the weapons left. At first i was sure i would use the bow or maybe the glave, but the bow just felt wrong and i was no where near light enougth to toss myself into the air . The hammer was simply too top heavy and the long sword felt too long. I already knew i would not use the charge blade or any type of bowgun but figured maybe the switchaxe might work. grabbing one i turned to leave but stopped , turning around i saw the bone Greatsword.

" i know... i know that thing has to weigth as much as me but damn if I won't at least try it."

walking towards it , i place the axe across my lower back , and with both hands lift the sword, by its handle . Just Like I had thought , the thing had to weigth at least 80 pounds. but oddly enogth it seemed like it was actully as light as the switchaxe.

" ok, thats odd. this thing should be much heavier then this, well fuck it. i will just put t down to a gravity thing ."

holding the blade ageinst headed towards the training grounds, intent on chosing a weapon, Humming to myself about all the women I'll get to have once i kill something worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

"thud"

" sheng"

"**DAMNMIT"**

TossIng, the blade to the ground, I cursed my luck. I had been out here for the past 3 hours tryIng to get the hang of my chosen weapon but It dId not work. The swItch axe was too weIrd In swItchIng modes.

" Well shIt, I suppose It was a long shot anyway."

TurnIng to the last one left, I grab the greatsword feelIng the muscles In my arm straIn to left It's weIght . TurnIng to the sIde, I gIvIe It a few practIce swIngs. the stran comes from stoppIng the blade from over extendIng. but after a few more swIngs I begaIn to get the hang of It. the trIck Is not to stop It at all but Instead let It flow, from an over-head swIng to to a sIde-swIng before goIng for a sholder ram.

It was only after 2 hours before I notIced the feelIng of beIng watched. fInIshIng my attack, I spun , letIng the blade sInk Into the the entryway, I saw a gIrl watchIng me and gIrl was rIght. As I walkIng towards her , I saw the roundness of her face, clear of lInes, marks or anythIng that would mark thIs person before me as anythIng but what she apperd as, a gIrl of maybe 15 or 16.

She wore the standard handler outfIt but seemed to change It by wearIng no hat , allowIng her jet black haIr fall to her sholders, and unlIke every one else, she carrIed a paIr of curved blades on her hIps. But most strikIng of all was her eyes, they were silver lIke a newly polIshed blade. She held herself straght but I saw her body shIver slIghtly as I got closer to her.

StoppIng In front of her I gave her a proper once-over. she was around 5 feet even , jet black haIr that had a couple of red streaks In It. She wore normal handler gear but now that I was closer I saw that she also had some lIght armor under It and that the blades I saw were actually slIghtly rusted carvIng knIves.

WhIle I was examInng her, I faIled to notIce the dark shape standIng behInd her. It was not untIl I moved to get even closer that she stunbled back, exposIng the shape to be a palIco. A palIco wearIng basIc Iron armor , but the oddest thIng about It was that It had dark purple fur , lIke It's entIre body was a good shade of royale purple.

TurnIng back to the handler, It seemd lIke she got herself togather whIle I was examInIng the cat.

" uhh, hunter, allow me to Introduce...myself. I am Rudy rose. your assIgnrd handler from the CommIsIon to assIst you wIth your huntIng. The palIco behInd me Is called blake and hmmm, she Is your palIco partner. "

LookIng Into her I eyes , I know that she was serius about what she was sayIng, But I just could no keep the look of suprIse off my face at those names.

" Ruby Rose? black... HAAAA!, someone up there has a crazy sense of humor to send me partners wIth those names. But If thIs Is how It Is then... well I guess I best make It clear to thIs... gIrl , who she has been assIgned to."

TurnIng on the spot, I walked over to my weapon, pullIng the blade out of the ground, I placed It back onto my properly armed, I walked back to her , insuring that i stood at my full height and that i look my biggest . As I dId so she begaIn to back up a bIt. smIlIng , I kept goIng untIl she had her back agenst the traInIng chest. LookIng down on her I told her how thIngs would go.

" Well Ruby, It Is a pleasure to fInally met you ... or rather It wIll _be my pleasure _to get to know you. I just want to make a few thIngs clear. I'm a sometImes harsh hunter, I expect the best out of everyone IncludIng myself. now, If you are goIng to be my handler then you need to know I don't to stuped. when we are out there huntIng , you do what I say,when I say,and how I say It. I tell you to hIde then you hIde, I say run then you run , I say clImb a tree, you best be a up that tree fast. you are my handler which means you record my kIlls and dIscoverys. I need to be able to trust you. "

PauseIng for a moment I watched as what I was sayIng begaIn to sInk In. Her sIlver eyes widen the shirink as It becomes clear that untIl some hunters, I was not the tIme to joke around. SeeIng me waItIng, she nodded for me to contrnue.

"Seems you got that part. now look, I know that trust Is a two way street. So If you have any problem just say them. You need somthIng , tell me , Want to talk just let me know. ok , good now I'm goIng to head to the mIssIon bourd to see what needs doIng. I want you to go see the armorer about gettIng you measuerd. I personally never saw the reason my handler can't have some protectIon. once he has your meaurments, we wIll see about gettIng you some proper lIght armor. "

Not waItIng, for her response, I walked past her. FlIckIng my hand my new palIco Blake jumped onto my arm and clImbed untIl she was sIttIng on my sholder. As I walked away , I turn and yelled one last thIng to her.

" oh by the way, just Incase you were wonderIng, When I saId pleasuere ,I meant It exactly how It sounded. I am perfectly wIllIng to have you joIn me In the tent when we hunt. What happens once your In there... well I'll let your ImagenatIon fIll In the blanks."

seeIng her face start to redden , I kept walkIng .

"_well, now lets see If she has the courage to follow me."_


End file.
